Vayechi

Joe Septimus

Joe Septimus is President of Septimus Consulting, Inc., a company that works with businesses and Jewish Not for Profits. He teaches Torah at Darkhei Noam, Melton schools, Central Synagogue, Manhattan JCC & Limmud NY.

Jacob calls his children to gather around his deathbed to impart to them his final words. Jacob’s summons suggests that what is to follow participates in the prophetic; "Gather around and I shall tell you that which will occur to you in the future" (literally, in the 'end of days'). "Gather and listen children of Jacob and listen to (heed) Israel your father".

However, strikingly, Jacob does not continue with a telling of the future. He disconnects, and instead begins imparting that which has become known as Bir'chot Yaacov, the blessings of Jacob; a recitation to each of his sons, the family chieftains, something unique and special that is at their essential core; the strengths and weaknesses of each. 

The Commentaries observe this striking disconnect, and offer a variety of explanations, including the possibility that Jacob's power of the prophetic was, at that moment, taken from him, possibly because someone was not worthy, maybe because death or sadness was too close, maybe because the future should not be foretold, maybe….  

Also enigmatic is the nickname given to this sequence, Bir'chot Yaacov, the Blessings of Jacob. Where’s the blessing? Jacob is about to share with his children many critiques and chastisements.  

I offer the following approach to the "disconnect" problem, which differs from the traditional "answers". It also helps to understanding chastisements as blessing. It is an approach I learnt from parenting, and consulting to founders and their children in family businesses.   

Perhaps Jacob, the paterfamilias, was about to leave as his final legacy his experienced and wise view as to the issues and events that would confront his children and their generations in the future; possibly about the strains, jealousies and rewards of family life, possibly about working together in the family business, possibly about living in exile, possibly about their family mission. These views, concerns and warnings when expressed by parents to children (of all ages) are not only colored by the life view of the parent, sometimes wise with age, sometimes somewhat obsolete, but are often accompanied by "sagacious parental advice" on exactly how the child or children should (and the parent would) deal with the problems to satisfactorily solve them. Maybe at first Yaacov wanted to do exactly that: tell them "the future", how it’s going to be, to caution them regarding his concerns and guide them as he saw fit. This may be suggested in the Torah by the repetitious "gather and listen children of Jacob, and listen to (heed) Israel your father" - i.e. are you listening to me...  

But then, perhaps, Jacob thought better of the matter and changed his mind. He chose to not dispense his wise counsel on how to deal with future problems, but rather to fortify his children. Jacob re-enforces within each child their attributes of strength and cautions each as to their aspects of weakness. In so doing he would enable and empower each of his children to use their strengths and be aware to avoid their weaknesses in dealing with whatever life would bring their way. He didn’t shun differences, he didn’t closet weaknesses and destructive traits. He gave each child permission to engage their individual personalities, and not be paralyzed by their mistakes and weaknesses.  

Instead of telling them the questions and giving them the answers, as he saw it, instead of telling them the future, Jacob instilled within each of his children the wisdom and self awareness, the confidence and wherewithal to solve whatever problems might actually arise.  

Encouraging this self- knowledge, and the confidence and permission to use it, is the best legacy a parent can give to a child; a generous Bracha indeed.