Toldot
Jacob and Esau are born arguing. They are described as very different characters. In this parshah, we have the famous story of Esau selling his birthright and Isaac being deceived by his other son Jacob (with a little help from mother Rebecca) to receive his blessing.
The Many Types of Parenting - Moshe Bleich
Moshe Bleich has practiced both as a social worker and congregational rabbi, and most recently directed two innovative schools in the DC area. He writes and speaks extensively on social and educational issues in Jewish law and life. Moshe has a PhD in Social Welfare from Yeshiva University, as well as Judicial and Rabbinic Ordination from Mir Yeshiva, N.Y.
Parshat Toldot opens in an odd fashion. "These are the offspring of Isaac son of Abraham - Abraham begot Isaac". The commentator Rashi (11th century) asks the obvious question: if Isaac is Abraham's son then it would seem redundant to mention the fact that Abraham is Isaac's father. Why does the Torah find it necessary to repeat this same fact two different ways?
There are several answers to Rashi's question. I would like to share the following one with you. There are at least three different types of parental-child relationships. There is a relationship in which the parent and child each go their separate ways without any affection and regard for each other. There is another type of relationship in which although the child holds her/his parents in high esteem, the parent is disappointed in the child who has failed to live up to his/her expectations. Finally, there is the parent-child relationship which we all aspire to in which the parent and child have mutual regard and esteem for each other.
It would appear that Abraham had all the above mentioned parent-child relationships. The verse describes how Abraham had children from Keturah and how he provided these children with presents and sent them eastward (Genesis 25:1-6). We find no further mention of these children in the Torah and one can assume that these children had little or no further contact with Abraham and the parent-child relationship was non-existent.
Abraham's relationship with Ishmael was somewhat different. Ishmael took great pride in identifying himself as Abraham's son. In recording Ishmael's descendents the Torah relates "these are the descendents of Ishmael the son of Abraham" (Genesis 25:12). Thus, Ishmael took pride in identifying himself as Abraham's offspring. This feeling of pride in having Abraham as a parent exists in our day as well among Moslems who take great pride in having Abraham as an ancestor. However, I would very much doubt that Abraham had much yiddishe nachas, or pride, in having Ishmael as a son - he expelled him from his household.
Finally Abraham had a son Isaac. The Torah's language indicates that this relationship was one of mutual respect and pride. "These are the offspring of Isaac son of Abraham" Isaac takes pride in being Abraham's son, however his relationship with Abraham, unlike Ishmael's is not a one sided one but a mutual one. Thus the verse concludes "Abraham begot Isaac," i.e. Abraham took pride in being Isaac‘s father as well. According to this analysis the additional phrase Abraham begot Isaac is not redundant but highlights the uniqueness of Abraham's relationship with Isaac, and his pride in having him as a son. The relationship is reciprocal, and the verse reflects this mutuality.
What type of parents are we?
And what type of children?
My Favourite Text - David Saperstein
David Saperstein is a Rabbi and Director of the Religious Action Center of Reform Judaism in the US, and represents the national Reform Jewish Movement to the US Congress and government.
"Not by Might, not by Power but by my spirit saith the Eternal God of Hosts." (Zechariah 4:6) On this rosh chodesh Kislev, as we look forward to the celebration of Chanukah in such a tumultuous world, these powerfully simple words from the haftorah (reading from the Prophets read each Shabbat) the rabbis chose for this holiday come down through the centuries as a warning and an inspiration.
In choosing this as a thematic verse for the holiday, the rabbis taught an invaluable lesson regarding the use of physical force and the proper attitude toward it. The Maccabees realized that, at times, war is unavoidable, at times we are compelled to fight. But how did the Jewish tradition respond to this fact? The victory celebration was not a triumphal parade or the erection of a magnificent arch, but the rededication of the Temple. A second holiday instituted by the Hasmoneans, called Yom Nicanor, celebrated a great military victory over a Syrian general by this name. The rabbis, totally de-emphasizing the military aspect of the Maccabean revolt, dropped this holiday from the calendar, while emphasizing Chanukah, the holiday of rededication.
As with the Israelis who, after the Six Day War, celebrated not with a triumphal march but with a concert and who shaped a holiday celebrating not a victory but the reunification of Jerusalem, Jews then and now were prepared to resort to force when it was necessary, but this force was never glorified or made an end in itself. The rabbis realized that force can defeat the victor as well as the vanquished, that the challenge is to avoid being corrupted by it.
This underlay the thinking of Yitzhak Rabin and Ariel Sharon who realized that force alone could not ensure Israel's security, that there had to be political resolutions of the underlying problems. This is the growing realization of the world community that terror cannot be defeated only militarily, in Iraq or elsewhere, but requires wise strategies to ensure the triumph of moderate religion and politics over extremism.
Power? Might? Today our unbridled prowess – military, scientific, industrial - can be used for good or evil unimaginable to our ancestors. We are the first generation that can destroy the world in a nuclear holocaust, contaminate our environment so as to change the climate of the entire globe, make Orwell's nightmare of 1984 the reality of the world, and use new genetic technologies to create Hitler's master race. Yet we are the first generation in all of human history that can clean up the damage done to the environment, cure diseases that have plagued humanity from time immemorial, use genetic engineering to cure birth defects, educate every child, find peaceful ways for nations to resolve their differences, and produce enough food to feed every human being on earth. What an exciting time to be a Jew! We are the first generation that can make real the world of justice and peace that God called us to bring about, whose blueprint is entrusted to us in our sacred texts. Not by might and not by power alone – but with our God-given wisdom and the spirit of God shining within us, we can ensure that our menorahs blaze with the light of justice, peace and hope for all God's children.